Transit of Venus

Posted: June 5, 2012 in Cryptics
A title very timely. But this story is not about that astronomical phenomenon.
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“Cut my heart out for a souvenir”
          And he thought he’d never see this day again. Not that he’s looking forward to it.
          She disarmed him. Made him take off this protective persona, and made him stumble again, hurting himself in the process. Falling for her isn’t the best feeling, but he fell for her anyway. He knew he really did not sign up for this.
          He was sitting idly by, minding his own business, dealing with his own life, until she came along. She used to be nonexistent, insignificant, a mere acquaintance, until she shared with him moments in her life that are quite too personal for others.
          He wished she had just stayed that way – nonexistent, insignificant, and kept him oblivious of whoever she is, and was, and what she might really be. But, hell, that really isn’t the case now.
          It’s not everyday that his life gets touched by another being this way, but when it does, that part that was touched will never ever be the same as how it was before.
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“Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.”
          It’s a classic case of a guy meeting this new girl. He falls for her. The feeling’s not mutual. Bottles of beer follow. Guy with stubble, messy hair, goes to his work place as if he’s in a different world – as if he’s a  different species in a new planet. He walks alone, with a blank stare, wondering how he ended up to where he is right now. He roams his world with his mind flying everywhere. His heart weakened, deals with how it instantly soared high and plummets to rock bottom just as fast.
          He thought, it was a start of something new. Truth is, it just sent him back to where he dreaded the most.
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“Bakit mo pa nagawa sa akin na ibigin ka kung, 
mawawala ka lang? nang ganun-ganon na lang?”
          Well, it could’ve been not that much complicated. So how did it end up that way?
          She was there when everyone was at the verge of turning their backs on him. She was the only one who stood by him. When the pressure was all on him, because of the type of the position that he’s handling for an organization, she was there, and her mere presence was enough help already.  She didn’t defend him. She knows that he has erred a lot, and it should not be tolerated. But at least, she didn’t leave. Quite enough reason to assume that concern into something else.
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“Nandyan ka na naman… 
tinutukso-tukso ang aking puso… 
… Nahihirapan na, lalapit lapit pa,
‘di na natuto.
          Weird. It’s a wild concoction of deja vu, topsy turvy and a generously offered friendship disguised as a romantic thingy. Just like that shot of jagermeister he just had a couple of nights back. You know that it’s going to kick the sanity out of you – but you downed the shot anyway. Doesn’t matter how painful the hangover’s going to be the morning next. All because it felt great.
          All he ever wanted was to appreciate that passion of one of his kind. That type of personality that he really was looking for in a girl. The passionate one. She writes.  Every word he reads with his eyes is like music to one’s ears. Yet he feels the pain, the joy, that silent laughter, and even the tears that she wrote it with in each of them. No pretensions. Her reality as she sees it through her eyes, heart and soul is what she claims it to be. For him, it’s nothing but magic, or a portal to a world concealed. He has seen her in a way that only a select few have.
          He’s seen something like this before. But this time, he really wasn’t ready for it. He told himself that he’s really not going to fall again for this kind of trap. But with some inevitable turn of events, he was forced to confess. He was forced to define in him what he’s really feeling for her. When all he ever wanted was to enjoy what he’s having, suddenly it all went out of his control, the feelings bound by that agreement that he would never ever tell her, now revealed, got out of his hands, and there’s nothing more that he can do about it.
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Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo,
hanggang dito na lang ako…
…Nahililo, nalilito
‘Asan ba ‘ko sa’yo? Aasa ba ‘ko sayo?
 
          He goes home. Trying to ponder on what happened during that weekend storm. Where this will lead, he doesn’t know. He has a glimpse of hope. He hopes, that in the middle of this turmoil between their hearts and minds, there’s this one tiny  truth at least. One tiny hint of affection. For him. From her. Then this would all be worth it.
          Just one utterance from her mouth, that she wants him to fight for her. He would in a heartbeat. But until then, the only thing that he can do is to write this.
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“If I lay here… if I just lay here,
would you lie with me and just forget the world?”
And there’s just so many lines in songs that I can include here. For what this is worth, we will find out.  With affection, loyalty and respect, all be put to the test – disproving betrayal, one’s word against another, and everything in between – this can only get more exciting.
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“Everybody’s watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?

I dare you to move”
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