Archive for June, 2012

I was on my way home when I saw this: Kuntodo sa studded punk armbands, necklace, sleeveless denim top with skull and bones, tight black pants, combined with the old school chucks…mga five-inch high yung mohawk nya na parang ginamitan ng isang dosenang puti ng itlog para tumayo…Tapos akbay akbay sya nung mga punkinitos(kids wearing the same punk stuff) na¬†¬†followers ¬†nya.

It reminded me of the days… that we would join underground/garahe gigs with people like him in the scene…dadayo sa mosh pits kahit kasing layo ng Taytay Rizal, Slam-an sa tulay sa may Nagtahan – all that just for the love of the music. I realized I was living a punk’s life, kahit saglit lang… >:)

Back when I was in college, I was in this group of people who just love to play music as a band. And we would regularly jam in a music rehearsal studio. We would save our baon to rehearse. There were a few times that we got invited to play in gigs, but that was all. We were nothing more but a band of brothers with the same passion.

The first time I felt the hype, was on a gig in Taytay. There was this guy from a well-off family, whose parents are working abroad, and he wanted to celebrate his birthday by having this gig in their garage. So, he invited all the underground amateur bands that he knew, including us.

A guy like me would never forget that moment. Imagine this, when everyone would sing their lungs out with your band, their heads banging, with glasses and bottles of alcohol in their hands. And there was you, a clueless bass player, a first timer for a gig, oblivious to the euphoria they were having, standing like an idiot up there on the stage, trying to focus on the chords you were playing. You wouldn’t know what to do with all of that craziness that’s happening at that moment. And then a guy from the audience would grab your vocalist’s mic and sing the chorus with him. ¬†Mukha kang tanga kasi hindi ka maka-ugapay sa dami ng nangyayari…pero ramdam mo yung adrenaline rush! THAT RUSH, pare! Yung feeling na napapasayaw mo yung mga jammers sa tugtog nyo. This was the song that we were playing when we got caught up in that crazy ride:

Anything – Goldfinger

“Guitar is for the head, drums are for the chest, but bass gets you in the groin” — Suzi Quatro

And then when you band’s done performing, you sit down and get to one of those tables on the side. And when the next band plays the chorus part… that’s when the slam pit starts! A random guy grabbed me by the neck, and pulled me up to join into the pit… It was like being in the middle of a rodeo show. Di mo alam kung saan nanggagaling yung bumabangga sayo. At nakasalamin pa ako noon. So, there’s nothing left for you to do but to go with the flow – maki-talon ka na rin, maki-banggaan hanggang sa mapunta sa ulit sa gilid, at saka ka na lalabas doon sa circle at magpapahinga. Pero magtatagal yun hanggang matapos yung part ng kanta na wala na yung hype. Tapos, kapag may natumba sa pit, bibitbitin nila sa paa, at sa balikat, tapos itatapon sa damuhan sa kabilang lote nung bahay para mahimasmasan.

Man, that small circle of underground performers were living their dreams on that night. We felt like we were the best punk rock artists in the world. We were gods – at least that’s what we were able to make ourselves believe in. There was fun, in the middle of the chaos. Kung ngayon ko sya naranasan, ngayong mas maganda na ang appreciation ko sa music, that would’ve been a more unforgettable experience. Still, I am thankful to have experienced that. Jesus, real musicians would understand this feeling.

Did I fail to mention that I was a nerdy type for a bandmate and I rarely dress or act like a punk rock musician? I don’t even skate, but thanks to Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater game, punk rock found its way from my veins, to my fingers as I tap and slap that bass guitar! ūüôā

PS: (I was bullshitting about the bass slapping, I haven’t figured that out quite yet!LOL, \m/, )


Of Milk and Honey

Posted: June 28, 2012 in Rhymes

Bewitched like that of a siren’s,

Enchanted by your childlike soul

With that bliss you made me feel with your innocence,

In my conscience you dug a hole


My affections for you are now debunked

As this reputation well fought for flunked

Never again will I be able to be

Right there beside you, with your cup of tea?


No chance for me to be your milk and honey?

I don’t have much money, but I would bet my entire life’s

That is if I died on Tuesday, and I won’t even ask you to be my wife

But I would beg just to have a moment, you and me, and your cup of tea


I saw one post of a friend in Facebook, “Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.” And I thought it was cool.

And then I heard this being played on the radio, one morning at RX 93.1, The Morning Rush with Chico and Delamar with Gino. And I thought to myself, “hey, ¬†it really is a song!”

After  a quick research about the song, I found out, and again told myself, that I wish these are the very same words that I would be saying to the young ones when I get old



by Baz Luhrman

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97,

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term
benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or
reliable then my own meandering experience.¬† I will dispense this advice….now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind, you won’t understand the power and
beauty of your youth until they’ve faded, but trust me in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of
yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous¬†you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra¬†equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy.¬† Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.¬† The race is
long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.¬† The most interesting people¬†I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year¬†olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of Calcium.¬† Be kind to your knees — you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t.¬† Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t.¬† Maybe you’ll
divorce at 40; maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either.¬† Your choices are half¬†chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can.¬† Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it’s the¬†greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don’t follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in¬†the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on.  Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you¬†do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children¬†respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.¬† Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse,¬†but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.¬† Advice is a form of nostalgia;¬†dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal–wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and¬†recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me, I’m the sunscreen.

Heres the song.

“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.”


It’s the Time of the Year Once Again

I just felt like I needed to write something today. It’s the day when Miami Heat gets its Second NBA Championship, and most importantly, the crowning of King James. I was monitoring the live updates through the Wall Street Journal Sports blog as I only have limited internet access for sports here in the office, and I managed to search for one that’s not denied an access by our I.T. people.

I was hopeful that OKC would be stealing a win ‘tonight’ for them to be able to bring the game back to their home court and get a better chance of grabbing the title for this year. But the Big Three and their cohorts were just too much for them to handle. To add to the insult, I would be paying P500 to one of my office mates as he bet for Miami, and I for OKC. How’s that fair?!

But it was almost lunch time when the game started, and during the lunch break is when I was then able to watch the fourth quarter from our office pantry filled together with lots of basketball¬†aficionados¬†and a few who are shaking their heads because they are losing on their bets like I was , when the Heat were enjoying a double digit lead the entire game. And when the confetti went down from the roofs of the arena, the Heat was announced as the Champs, and LBJ was called to speak – all that I can say to myself is that “I should be doing the same self reflection that LBJ has done on himself for him to be able to get crowned as the King.”


On a sidenote, I just hate it when awesome players get denied their chance to win a title. And there are a lot of them in the NBA. Players like Malone, Stockton, Barkley, Ewing, Reggie Miller, (Payton though got lucky to have joined the Heat during its first Championship) among many others. And just like a guy that’s friendzoned by a girl he’s admired all his life, these players are ¬†to basketball as what ¬†Muhammad Ali’s Joe Frazier is to boxing – the Juan Manuel Marquez to a Manny Pacquiao(I just thought I needed to include a boxing analogy for the other readers to understand. And hey, Coach Spoelstra mentioned that he is a big Manny Pacquiao fan in his interview during the awarding! Coolness). When they have had the best work ethic, trained well, prepared well, and played their asses out to get into the Playoffs, only for them to get eliminated and lose their chance for the trophy. I know that there are many things that can affect an outcome of a Season and they can’t solely put the blame on themselves, but sadly, players like them have done their part in the team, dedicated their lives for the W, and only get that close – and never close enough to call that trophy their own.

Well, that kinda made me think how life would’ve suck more if you were in the shoes of any of these greatest players that I have mentioned. Not that I have not tasted how it’s like, but for them, it’s way different. That you have lived all your life and have done nothing but do what you love, and that passion and talent could bring you to that very point when it gives you the chance to win and bag home a title, but can only bring you just that close to your goal – none any farther. Well, since Kidd’s name no longer belongs to that list, that makes me quite happy for the others, I guess.

But imagine that so much pain these players must have felt and gone through – like they don’t deserve it because they were that damn good. The only fault that they had and could blame themselves for is that they had lived and played during the time when His Airness’ reigned the hardcourt during the 90’s. And they have to live with that fact for their entire lives. They must have told themselves stuff like “Had Jordan not been around, I am sure that we would’ve won at least a title in my entire career” and all that.

Well, I am sure that by now, they have already realized that life is not just about winning a Championship ring – that it’s all about the love for the game. I know that they are now thankful for they had their time of their lives, that chance to be there… maybe not where Mike and LBJ and Kobe and Shaq had been exactly, but to play against, and alongside them is pretty much a great memory to have as a baller.


NBA and I: The Connection

I was born in 1984, the very fateful year when Michael Jordan became “only” a First round, third over-all pick (first was Hakeem Olajuwon). And in the course of years when I was growing up, I have lived that childhood during the undoubtedly the best era in the NBA.

That’s also when my eldest kuya became so passionate about basketball, that we, the brothers and all our cousins already dub him our own Quinito Henson for his insights, familiarity in basketball statistics, history and stories from all angles – he knows all that. And I think no one else knows as much as my kuya does among his cirlce of friends, and in ours, too, in this field at that time. I’d bet my balls on that. There was no internet yet, and yet he already knows that particular average per game stats of virtually all the star players in the NBA, and a lot more on the side. And so, among all the other things that he is passionate about, he has shared to me a lot of things that I know about what basketball is. In fact, he became the basketball coach of our high school team, and taught our players the basketball plays he derived from playing NBA Live. And they worked in real life, in their case at least.

My kuya is a very vocal type. He can talk about anything under the sun for an entire day and not get tired about it – without making you, as a listener tired of listening to him. That’s how he is. He used to tell me every novel that he has read, that I lost interest of reading them on my own. Thus, the FHM collection I have at home, instead of these pocket books by Ludlum, Tolkien, Sheldon, Grisham, and all the others.

At one point, he actually invented a card game for NBA, using a deck of cards, and some NBA collectible cards when we were in Bicol, more than a decade ago. He would have this sequencing, more like how you’re playing a turn based computer game like Final Fantasy in the present setting – but with cards. And we would read the game, based on what cards on the deck would appear, if a shot is made or not, a rebound by which player of whichever team and the what not’s. And he would create a fantasy write up, similar to what you can read from sports websites and magazines. You could compare him to J.R.R. Tolkien, who managed to create a new language for his Lord of the Rings’ epic tales. And the three of us brothers can still try to play that game right now if given the chance, complete with a stat sheet and the commentaries. Oh, I am so reminiscing…

And then the modern era came. Playstation 1. Us being gamers ourselves got hooked to playing the NBA Live series. My two kuya’s started their own tournament from NBA Live 1995, and I just joined in from 2001-2004 I guess, when PS 2 games were already available. We would divide the then 29 teams among ourselves, and create a scheme of game schedules. And we would battle it out like real coaches and team GM’s, having our own ¬†favorites and teams we want to get qualified in the Playoffs. We can have the luxury of sacrificing a lesser team’s loss to gain a win for the qualifying team in our respective groups. The only thing that we need to follow is the real NBA roster during that year. And if there were updates for trades, contract signings, releasing and acquiring of free agents, my Kuya would meticulously update our NBA Live roster and save it before we play each game. It is already a hard thing to do even in these days when the information is already available online – imagine how he enjoyed it during the days. ūüôā

And that’s how I got hooked up. That’s how I know too much, and that’s how I have a lot of heart for NBA. I used to kid my friends whenever we hang out in PS Rental shops back then, that I could beat them with any team of their choosing, against their best team in any NBA Live. That’s how proud I was back then. ūüôā


Who would’ve thought that I could get something to reflect on from the Finals?

Before I get ahead of myself too much, let’s go back now to Miami.

Honestly, I have not admired LBJ that much when he started his campaign with the Heat as I had when he was in Cleveland. I saw a very arrogant individual last year, full of empty words and promises. And honestly laughed my ass out when they lost against one of my all time faves Рthe Dallas Mavericks. I was rooting for the Mavs the entire season, as they have formed a roster which includes Dirk and Jason Kidd, two of the all time players I admire most in the entire NBA.

I was delighted because of the fact that LBJ choked, and that Wade would just easily shrug it off since he’s already got his own Championship ring and a Bill Russel’s Finals MVP trophy – it’s not that painful at all for him. I was also delighted because of the fact that Kidd has finally won his first, and it was in a way, won in an epic manner. He started his career with the Dallas Mavs, and went to Phoenix, and his real talents was then given the spotlight when he joined the New Jersey Nets and did some epic Finals battle with the Lakers against the LA demigods Shaq and Kobe. And last year, he’s joined the team with another demigod, Dirk Nowitzki – and both of them bagged the title. Kidd started, and made a grand exit for his NBA career with the same team. Not to mention Dirk who has also gone through a lot in his career. And that game when he was having a fever and still managed to bring home the W. There was a glimpse of when Jordan had “the Flu Game” against the Utah Jazz.

The moment I heard LBJ during the interview, and how he displayed his humility in his answers amidst the celebratory atmosphere, is when I came to realize that even a person as arrogant as him in the beginning was given a second chance. I was not expecting that from him to say the least.

He said in the interview his experience during their last year’s campaign for the title, “Last year I was playing¬†the game “with a lot of hate.” That I needed to prove something. And I paid a lot for that. I suffered a lot of embarrassments, had a lot of haters. And this year it was all about playing it with “a lot of love” and “going back to the basics.”

A commentator even said that “for one person to tell himself that he was immature and selfish, that he needed to work on something to improve… it takes a lot of self-reflection.”

And true enough, this season is a life changer for LeBron. No longer will his name belong to the list of those mentioned above, although he still has yet a lot more to prove, we understand. Haters still are going to hate. But he has already proven himself, that by playing “not to prove anything to others what he is capable of” but simply playing and doing what you’ve got to do to be where he is right now.

And indeed, he has stumbled a lot just like any others out there. For almost nine years, he has set his eye on that what to him used to be a very elusive Larry O’Brien trophy. And now, he has already legitimized his kingship. After nine years. Michael Jordan did it after eight. LBJ is still young and he’s got a lot of years in him to build and establish his own era.

I guess, what LBJ needed was not to add something, but remove something in him. He was, a very proud youngster before. He was arrogant. He was good, but he has never been compared close to Jordan or even Kobe because of his being selfish and immature. And this season, we almost did not see that being manifested in his performance. He was all business – no showboating unlike last year, when he mocked the Mavs by doing some shadow boxing with Wade on the side court when the game hasn’t even ended, and that very extravagant entrance with the Heat. And that arrogance and pride all lead them to ¬†losing the Championship.

The Big Three and Coach ‘Spo’ all said the same things when they got interviewed. That they remember last year. The pain. The disappointment. The embarrassment. They were too proud of themselves. And we all did not see that attitude during this season.


Truly, basketball is not just a sport. It’s not just a game. It’s about life and the moments that can turn your world around especially for the players themselves. A microcosm of what life is – work hard to be on top. ‘Fall down seven times stand up eight’ as what told in that Chinese proverb adopted by Adidas. And it’s sure that airheads can’t get themselves anywhere until they’ve proved what they really are capable of. Just like in life, you’re going to get to face with a lot of frustrations only Meta Worldpeace can deliver; a lot of colorful characters like Dennis Rodman; some role players like Derek Fisher; and some formidable opponents and forces to reckon with like the Tim Duncan’s; the humble ones like the Dwyane Wades; the lucky ones like the Gary Payton’s; and many arch nemesis that you can’t sometimes get past against, like Kobe and Shaq, the Jordan’s and Dirk’s; and a lot the passionate ones like the likes of LeBron James- all these, you encounter in real life.

So, the next time you think you are better than the others, be like James. Play like James, think like James. It won’t hurt much to reflect, and tell yourself that you’ve done something wrong in the past and try do make up for it on your second chance – and there will always be a second chance – and another after that – and another. LBJ has his first of I believe many Championships that he’s ought to have in his ninth attempt. Kobe in his fifth (but never mind this guy, this one’s in a caliber of his own). Jordan in his eighth.

And you. You are going to quit after you first failure and telling yourself that you no longer want to reach for it? You think you’re never good enough? I guess you need to think again. Once life gives you another chance (and don’t think that you’re running out of it), grab it. Get prepared. There will be stumbles along the way, but get up each time you fall. That’s their keys to success. They never quit. And you should not, too.

I should also be telling my self the same things. I am a very proud and conceited guy. Oh, my blog readers can prove it. I was arrogant. I think I still am. And I welcome the challenge that LeBron had before he became who he is at this very moment. I need to stop proving everyone who I am. I think I just need to live, and “just gotta do what I gotta do,” quoting James’s words here.

“It’s about damn time. It’s about damn time.” – LeBron James, Miami Heat, 2012 NBA Champion

And were you guys able to see Kevin Durant after they officially lost to the Heat? Man, that is something that defines what a future Hall of Famer will be. I hope he gets to channel this defeat into something that will make him earn his own crown. Kudos to these two superstarts. This Finals Series is one to remember.


And… as Jordan said in his interviews:

“It’s better to have 0:20 than a 0:0”

“I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career.
I’ve lost almost 300 games.
26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed.
I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.
And that is why I succeed.”

“I can accept defeat, but I cannot accept not trying.”

Visit for more.


And you’re going to give up on your first fall? Your second?

Even Jordan was a nobody once. Think about it.


Written from my office cubicle, during a not so very busy day at work.

Just right after I finished editing this entry, two VP’s of my company sat by me and asked me about what I do with my work, testing my product knowledge and stuff. They were doing random checking from one employee to another.

Man, they caught me off guard. Good thing I was able to immediately close this window. That was one of the most nerve racking encounters with bosses in my professional career, as I have only spent three months in this office, and I do not know much about automobiles. I only know how to write! I actually did not know what I was saying to them, but I had dealt with it confidently, and I think that’s how I got my ass saved. They’ve already settled in their offices and here I am again, putting the icing on the cake in this article, so to speak. ūüôā

The Joker

Posted: June 19, 2012 in Exceptional, Excerpts

**I got this from a random guy.

A sickening laugh from a sickening face.
At a sickening pitch and a sickening pace.
A cackle heard from every place, as a sickening heart begins to race.
The Joker smiles upon his deed, a smile plastered, permeanently.
The face is tortured and silent now, yet still he laughs, laughing proud.
Through sickening mind and sickening soul.
The laugh continues to make skin crawl.
From far and wide, his crimes are known.
The clown that smiles when others fall.
He turns and walks from this his trophy
As bat and bird follow closely.

“Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

Who Am I?
Many things, so many.
I am the nightmare that makes you scream like child for your mother.
I am the unseen laugh that makes you run for your front door.
I am the smile that makes you ache with pain.

I am he who laughs at death and my smile is damnation.

June 19th, 2011. Nagkukuwentuhan kami ni Mama, at ng pamangkin ko sa bahay.

Nabanggit ko kay Mama na dapat ay sa gradeschool tinuturo ang Rizal Subject, para mas concentrated ang nag-aaral kesa sa ilagay sya sa college curriculum, at maraming mang-aagaw ng atensyon ng estudyante.

Tinanong ko yung pamangkin ko, na kasalukuyang nag-aadjust sa freshman year nya sa high school. ¬†“Anong alam mo kay Rizal?” Umiling lang sya.

Tinanong naman sya ni Mama, “Ilan silang lahat na magkakapatid?”

Tinanong ko ulit, “Alam mo yung kwento tungkol sa gamu-gamo at ang ilaw? eh yung tsinelas nya sa bangka?”

Umiling na naman si pamangkin.Nagulat ako nang wala syang sinagot kahit isa man lang sa tanong namin ni Mama tungkol kay Rizal.Kinwento ko tuloy sa kanya na noong bata ako, ang unang librong natapos kong basahin from cover to cover ay ayung pambatang libro about Jose Rizal (pagkatapos noon, wala na akong natapos na libro hanggang tumanda ako, haha!).

Pagkatapos noon ay kinwento sa kanya ni Mama isa isa ang stories about our National Hero – kung ilan silang lahat na magkakapatid, at kung paano nya nakuha ang apelyidong Rizal. Inisa-isa din ni Mama ang kwento ng gamu-gamo at yung pares ng tsinelas na pinati-anod nya sa ilog.

Pagkatapos ay biniro ko ulit si pamangkin, “Eh kamusta yung ending ng Gumiho?”¬†

Realization: Hindi ako makapaniwala, at ayokong maniwala na hindi ganoon kakilala ng pamangkin ko si Rizal.  Totoo sa akin na ginusto kong alamin ang buhay nya, above all the other heroes that we have, simula pa noong bata. Dahil siguro unang na-expose sa akin yung libro, grade 1 pa lang ako noon, binasa ko sya noong nasa Bicol ako. Pwede rin nga na isolated ang kaso ko. Pero oo, nalaman ko halos lahat sa kanya noong nasa kolehiyo na ako, at ginusto ko noon na sana mas maaga ko pang napag-aralan ang buhay nya.

Sa bilis ng panahon ngayon, at sa naglipanang mga bagay na mag-aaliw sa mga kabataan, tulad nitong computer at internet; ang dota; ang Facebook; ang Farmville at kung anu-ano pang cyber-entertainment, mahirap maagaw ang atensyon ng kabataan para pag-aralan ang sarili nyang kultura at ugat ng lahi nito. At ang mas nakakatakot pang isipin, ay ang paglamon sa sarili nating kultura, hindi na nga ng mga Kano at mga nasa kanluran, pero kahit ang mga kapit-bahay natin sa Asya ay nakaka-apekto sa pagmamahal ng ating kabataan sa sarili nilang bayan at kultura.

Segue : Here’s my tour in Intramuros. Who said your day’s ruined just because it didn’t go the way you planned it? (and yeah, enjoy the collaboration of the song.) ¬†ūüôā

Mas maganda sana kung mai-expose natin ang kabataan sa buhay at mga aral ni Rizal sa batang edad pa lamang. Sana ay araw araw syang naituturo bilang isang hiwalay na subject sa grade schools at high schools natin ngayon.

Matalino sya, at sana lang ay nahiya lang syang sumagot sa mga tanong namin ni Mama. Sana lang, yung mga kabataan, ang henerasyon ng mga pamangkin ko, at magiging anak ko ay mapag-tuunan pa ng panahon at atensyon para mapag-aralan at hangga’t maari ay gawing modelo ang buhay ni Pepe.

Suwerte pa rin akong nakaranas sa kabataan ko, na kahit papaano ay nakalingon ako sa kasaysayan, at hindi agad nabubulag ng ibang kultura. At least, sa edad kong ‘to, kahit binuhay ako ng call center sa nakaraang tatlong taon, hindi mo masasabi sa akin na wala na akong paki-alam sa sarili kong kultura, at may maisasagot ako sa mga matatanda, at sa mga batang gustong matuto tungkol sa Bayan. Kay Pepe.

Sana ganoon din sila kasuwerte ngayon.

Damsel for Distress

Posted: June 18, 2012 in Cryptics

** This is fiction.

I guess it’s time for me to close this fleeting chapter.

I’ve got to live to fight another day. I’ve realized that doing good for everyone will do good for everyone… but me.

You can’t blame happy people for being happy that they tend to not look at the sad parts of life. Truth is, happy people don’t and won’t give a shit about them. Not that I’m blaming these people for the sad people’s demise. This is the natural course that should be taken. You cannot expect them to look back at what they’ve left and say “Oh, wait, he’s stuck, let’s help,” and all the other bullshit.

You cannot make the water flow to where you want it to, unless you do some drastic move, like digging another channel and divert it. But life is really not as easy as it sounds. There are so many things that you need to consider. For me, I guess I’ve just given so much consideration to so many that I forgot that I should also be looking after my self. Hell, what am I saying?

I should stop thinking about other’s happiness and start thinking about starting my own. I dread that moment when I turn into a cold blooded man.

I just want to thank that very same person who inspired me to set this WP up. You know, had you not come into the scene, I wouldn’t have realized how I really am as a friend, as a part of a group, as an individual, as a ‘guy’. And I would like to apologize for all the things that went around my mind about you ¬†– from the best, to the worst that anyone could think of. What’s weird is, I never said “I love you”, but I feel like this is one of the craziest roller coaster of emotions I’ve had by far. I don’t think that I can still read the things that you wrote – “that made me fall for the writer” – the same way as I did before. But I will keep this blog up.

I was a friend, but I worked as a spy. To everyone. It’s in my nature that I should be wary of everyone. Always ready for that someone meant to stab me at my back. Always ready for an attack. Yeah, the 48 Laws must be responsible, along with the other not-so good stuff in my past. I am not a good follower of those laws, but somehow, in some ways, I manifest in me all the things that I have read, whether on my own volition, or subconsciously. I can’t, and I don’t think I will be able to take it out of my system now.

I was a friend to everyone, and I think I still am. I’ve made it a point that I’d think of everyone’s welfare before mine. I guess I have already played that role so much, that I am already telling myself that getting out of that zone is going to cause me bad things – when in reality, there is really nothing wrong in doing it. I was afraid to make that move to seize what I wanted. But what I did not realize is – whether or not you do something to get what you want, the fear will always be there.

I told myself that I should not be dealing with this type of situation again. That I should know what to do to avoid it. I have not dipped my toe into the waters to test if it’s worth jumping into – for such a long time. And the waters I tested, ¬†I felt so much comfort that I immediately dipped in , only for me to be told that I should get up and leave. Stevie Wonder’s song¬†would best explain it.
And just like any other first experience, this one’s also a rugged edge. I was so cautious of not making a scene, that I ended up magnifying what should be kept in a discreet fashion for everyone’s delight. On the brighter side, you’ve made me want to refine myself, give it time to recuperate, and again walk out there as if nothing happened. I think I know what I need to do the next time this happens. I am actually not sure if I need to let these happen again.

You might think that I am saying these words just because I lost a battle to have what I want – with a hint of sour graping. Truth is, I have never really felt so much affection towards you. But what’s killing me is that I really don’t know why you’ve turned my life around so much, that I forgot who I really am, and who I really should be. What better way to follow up that seven week turmoil I’ve had with my colleagues than to give myself that brick to hit my own head with? I can’t hate you. And I am sorry, but I am letting you know right now – I think I need to hate in able to forget. I’ll try if I could.

How I ended up right here, I don’t know. One thing’s for sure. I need to get out of this hell hole, as soon as possible.

But I will still stay this way – that very same person that you know. Still am grateful for the things that you did for me.

Tell Sushi this is all her fault. ūüôā


“If it is seductive power you are after, the Siren is the most potent of all.She operates on a man’s most basic emotions, and if she plays her role properly, she can transform a normally strong and responsible male into a childish slave…

“Sometimes a powerful man will do the most irrational things, have an affair when it is least called for, just for a thrill, the¬†danger of it all. The irrational can prove ¬†immensely seductive, even more¬†so for men, who must always seem so reasonable.”

“The intellectual is often the one most susceptible to the Siren call of pure physical pleasure, because his life so lacks it. The Siren does not have to worry about finding the right victim. Her magic works on one and all.

“Think of the victims of the great Sirens of history: Paris¬†causes a war for the sake of Helen of Troy, Caesar risks an empire and¬†Antony loses his power and his life for Cleopatra, Napoleon becomes a¬†laughingstock over Josephine, DiMaggio never gets over Marilyn, and¬†Arthur Miller can’t write for years. A man is often ruined by a Siren, yet¬†cannot tear himself away. (Many powerful men have a masochistic streak.)”

Р The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

You might not be aware of it, but you do have it. And I’ve told you about it before.


“One day, you’ll see this through my eyes.

By then I won’t even be there

I’ll be happy somewhere

Even if I cared”¬†

(I heard from  a performer named Nina)

A Siren for a Rake.