Archive for May, 2012

Slack

Posted: May 31, 2012 in Rhymes

My, oh my. I wrote this one in October 2010. It’s been more than a year! And it only tells how long I haven’t been in a serious relationship. It’s not that I haven’t gotten a touch from the opposite sex, I tell you, I have got a lot! Some of which I never really intended to happen; some I enjoyed, and some… for lack of a better phrase “taught me a lesson.”

Anyhoo, here’s my crude, desperate attempt to emulate John Mayer with his “Love Song for No One”. I used to tell my friends, John Mayer must have experienced the same ‘slack’ to be able to write a song as great as that. Seriously, is there any song of the same theme, that went up the charts like his? In any song era? By any artist? I might be patronizing Mayer too much, but hell, it’s that song that hit me right in the kisser.

**No music yet, just the words. Any one who’s kind enough to help me out to plot the music for this one would certainly be appreciated.  🙂

I woke up with that familiar ache in my head

My vision’s blurred, I’m being swallowed by my bed

Too many full moons I’ve let pass, too many kisses i have missed.

That longing that I harbor inside still exists.

==

But to whom shall I offer to share with my bliss?

That love bug no longer itches, though the biting it can’t resist

I am not good at writing sweet love songs

So if anyone could hear this

==

Could you see me please, give me what i’ve missed.

We can be like two strangers bound by fate to meet.

Maybe we could start to lead our hearts

And give both of them a brand new start.

==

I am missing that familiar throb in my heart

I need to fill in those empty spaces of where someone used to be a part

But too many full moons I’ve let pass, too many chances I have wasted

Now with that familiar ache, I let myself be swallowed by my bed.

As I was waiting for my boss’ instruction for today’s work, I stumbled upon an old blog of mine and saw in  there quite an interesting entry. Isn’t it funny when you get to read again something that you made from years back? It’s like it was done by another person, and somehow it amazes me (yes, you’ll be seeing a lot of this word) that what I am now is so much different from what I used to be, during the time when I wrote this.

The post is nothing but a collection of quotes I’ve read from the world wide web. I posted around 35 quotes in there, apparently they all appealed to me at that time. Well, I skimmed on all of them this morning, and I just want to share with you, and check on some qoutes that I think still apply to who I am right now, what I think, and the things that I am concerned about.

=====

“The more you know, the less you understand.” – Roy R.  

(from a co-agent, during my ‘callboy” years)

“If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.” – Josh Billings

“True love is like a ghost, which everybody talks about and few have seen.”

– Francois LaRochefoucauld

( “Boo.” – Casper)

“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.”
– Clarence Darrow

“Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing. We are sentenced to die the day we’re born.”
– Gary Mark Gilmore

“The expert at anything was once a beginner.”
– Hayes

“Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
– Anonymous (“I told you so.” – me talking to myself)

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”
– Samuel Johnson

“Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.”
– H. L. Mencken

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”
– William Shakespeare

“A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.”
– Oscar Wilde (1854 – 1900)

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
– Japanese Proverb (this one’s used for a Dwyane Wade’s Adidas shoe ad)

Live your life so that when you come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.”
– Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)

(this should be every person’s ultimate aim)

“We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the luck of those we don’t like?”
– Marcus Aurelius (121 – 180) 

(I really wonder how great this ancient leaders are.)

“The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.”
– Lloyd Jones

(Air Mike got it. So should we.)

“Without hope we live in desire.”
– Lewis Mumford

“It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.”
– Errol Flynn (1909-1959)

“Every man has three characters – that which he exhibits, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has.”
– Alphonse Karr

(I think I remember discussing this with a close friend, that one should be a multi-faceted individual when dealing with people, and choose one from those facets depending on the type of  people you’re dealing with;  and that you should maintain those boundaries between each of your facets. However, you should be aware of yourself, and be wary of what you want to show to others, what you think is being seen, and what you REALLY are showing. I think I just paraphrased that quote, haha!)

“Sex is like eating…Sometimes you have fast food, and sometimes you eat a gourmet meal.”
– Monica Lewinsky

(Take it from her. She’s an expert, on how to find gourmet meals.)

“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.”
– Robert Anthony

(Okay, I get it. Next! haha… been on both sides, and up til now, I still can’t decide which one’s better.)

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
– Edmund Burke (1729 – 1797)

“A parrot talks much but flies little.”
– Wilbur Wright (1867 – 1912)

“If a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

“Did you hear about that dyslexic, agnostic imsoniac who stayed up all night thinking if there was really a Dog?” -anonymous

(Well played…  well played.)

“As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.”
– Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865)

“I was in darkness, but I took three steps and found myself in paradise. The first step was a good thought, the second, a good word; and the third, a good deed.”
– Nietzche

“Law is a bottomless pit.”
– John Arbuthnot

(So is a glass of beer.)

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him. ”
– Cher

“I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.”
– Henry Miller

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
– Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”
– Oscar Wilde

(And that’s how it really should be.)

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”
– Sam Keen

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
– Harvey Fierstein

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
– Lao-Tzu

(I can’t hear you, Lao)

“The basis of optimism is sheer terror.”

– Oscar Wilde

“Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.”
– Unknown

“Faith is to believe what we do not see; and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe.”
-Saint Augustine

(For some reason, I am not a religious person, but the though about faith really fascinates me.)

“The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.”
– Herb Caen

“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s. She changes it more often.”
– Oliver Herford

(Watch out! We got an anti-feminist bastard here!)

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”
– Mohandas K. Ghandi

But here’s my favorite, from the man himself:

“I am tired as a dog but I will sleep as a God.”
– JP Rizal

(A dog… a God… wait, what? Let me read that again.)

 

This poem I was assigned to report about during my college Literature. And since then, I have always remembered Okara’s words, and the paradox in it. Thanks Ms. Banaria! Ü

=====

Once upon a time, son,

they used to laugh with their hearts

and laugh with their eyes:

but now they only laugh with their teeth,

while their ice-block-cold eyes search behind my shadow.

There was a time indeed

they used to shake hands with their hearts:

but that’s gone, son.

Now they shake hands without hearts:

while their left hands search

my empty pockets.

‘Feel at home´! ‘Come again´:

they say, and when I come

again and feel

at home, once, twice,there will be no thrice-

for then I find doors shut on me.

So I have learned many things, son.

I have learned to wear many faces

like dresses – homeface,officeface, streetface, hostface,

cocktailface, with all their conforming smiles

like a fixed portrait smile.

And I have learned too

to laugh with only me teeth

and shake hands without my heart.

I have also learned to say,’Goodbye´,

when I mean ‘Good-riddance’:

to say ‘Glad to meet you´,

without being glad;

and to say ‘It’s been

nice talking to you, after being bored.

But believe me, son.

I want to be what I used to be

when I was like you. I want

to unlearn all these muting things.

Most of all, I want to relearn

how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror

shows only my teeth like a snake’s bare fangs!

So show me, son,

how to laugh; show me how

I used to laugh and smile

once upon a time when I was like you.

=====

— If this isn’t a poem very timely,  then I don’t know what is. And yes, I am talking abot the current events happening around me… okay, about national issues.

NOT! 🙂

You are amazing. Just a simple midnight chat with you, no matter how insensible – is just so meaningful.   Because it was you I was having the chat with. Everything else doesn’t seem to matter in that short span of time.

And what’s more amazing is this. I have loosened up on myself, that I am now able to talk to you in the most casual way, as how you were and have always been towards me. A feat I have struggled to make perfect until recently.

And this thing seems to work. I guess, turning my back on the thought of wanting you helps a lot more than staying as the same old me who used to admire someone like you. I have to thank Style (yes, that’s a person’s name) for helping me keep my head above the water of your sea of attraction. I guess I need to do that more frequently.

If only I could do the same with her right now..

The night ended, so did the chat. It was like me being offered to chug a mug of ice cold beer after a very stressful day – I know that it would definitely ease me down by drowning my stress away – yet I think of declining, fearing the hangover it could bring the morning after. But I am considering chugging it anyway. Lemme think. – End of night chat.

The pen is more sane than my brain.

Doing it in a very cryptic manner to make it more obvious.

A little backgrounder

I have been trying to establish the blog where I could put all my thoughts about the world, life, and even okay… love.

But try as I may during the past years, I couldn’t barely get a hold of one blog site and update it as much as I could for everyone’s reading pleasure. There was this blog I established once. I have already posted a lot of stuff in there, and gained quite a few followers, only for me to know that the website is going to seize its operation. Yes, it’s the mother of all the social networking sites in Asia – Friendster.

‘Jej’ as many from the Facebook generation would call it now, ‘jologs’ for the not so young generations of bloggers and netizens, but I managed to separate my blog’s soul and spirit from what everyone would expect to see in Friendster – people begging for testimonials (yes, that’s how we call it – when others post something in your own wall, for the younger generation who failed to get the grasp of Friendster, you are all blessed to have not experienced it! haha!), up to the perpetual  changing of html codes for your profile themes and background images. It’s when ordinary people, including me, suddenly learned the basic of that computer language, whatever you call it, as it became a necessity to maintain your social ‘status’ up.

As I was saying, I managed to create a different image for my blog. That was, however, years ago. And now that Zuckerberg’s Facebook has taken over the kingship of social networking sites, it would suck if you try to put all your thoughts in one wall – you don’t want to flood your friends and connections with notifications and give them a hard time scrolling down their timeline (or a lot of them might still have the old format), or worse, they might end up blocking you with your constant posts about how the world revolves around you.

I failed to notice that I was already becoming a pet peeve to others until one of my closest friends got the courage to tell me about it. She said she thought I’ve hacked her computer because my posts were all she saw when she logged in her account, and she couldn’t even see a single post from other users – at all.

Just a little sidenote, that’s when my closest friends started calling me “Gabay”. Gabay (Gab for short) was a nick that I already accepted and adopted ever since it was first coined in one of our beer sessions. They said that I should stop or at least control my insatiable desire to post whatever I feel about whatever, as if I were a talk show host, giving advises to his audience – or like the radio’s Papa Jack, only the annoying version. To add, I was a bum during those moments, I had no formal job for months, and the only thing that kept me preoccupied was the Association which I am head of. So, that gave me a lot of time in my hands, and how else do you guys think I was able spend it? In front of my desktop computer, of course. Aside from DoTA and other PC games, Facebook has been an integral part of my netizen life, and you will get the chance to know why once I post how Facebook has changed me.

Well, I find it cool to be called with that name, actually. What better way to transform something out of negativity into something that most of the people in my circle would positively remember me of?

Going back to me becoming a pet peeve because of the posts.  Imagine, I was actually able to come up with an entry out of nothing. And I just let my fingertips get tickled with every push of the keys on my keyboard. Lo and behold, even readers from the site Definitely Filipino liked how it was written. Mind you, it was written by a bum.

Just because that writer in me could never contain that desire to write, and write… and write. And so, hopefully, with this blog, I could now set a venue to express whatever I have in mind. Also, it’s a good that thing I still have copies of the files of my previous posts that have been deleted together with my Friendster account – the Friendster administrators were kind enough to give their users enough time to archive their information, photos, blogs, and even testimonials, and I am one of those lucky enough to have saved those.

Just a little heads up

I will be posting several old entries here, of all sorts. Bear with me with the cheesiness or the vulgarity and straightforwardness of some of them, but I will try my best to filter them from now on. From my ‘brave’ and sometimes rant commentaries about social issues and national events, what I feel about the government and those who run it, and some critical matters about our country, to the unfortunately cheesy, sentimental, and serious matters of the heart. I might also post anything under the sun, as I have written dozens of write-ups about some stuff. You will also be seeing a lot of stuff from Definitely Filipino Blog and Kuro-Kuro sites, as I have submitted several entries to those sites in the past.

The bottom line is, whatever you are going to see in this blog, is a reflection of me. It may not necessarily represent the entirety of me, though. I write whenever I am inspired by anything,  or whenever my brain needs some scratching when the itch of politics and social issues starts to set in. And yes, I might possibly post a lot of stuff about aching hearts, melancholy, and close to getting man tears kind of entries. Again, it all depends on what my mood was, is, and will be in every thing that I will be posting.

For those few souls who might find this blog interesting, my life is an open book. For some who can’t wait, go ahead and check my Facebook, read my profile, spend a few minutes reading the articles in my Notes section, as I have temporarily set that up as my blog. I am having a hard time with the current Facebook Notes section format though. It would be hard for the readers to dig into the several notes I have already posted, that they might lose their interest in reading any of it. But don’t you people worry. Once I get the hang of using WordPress, I’ll make sure I’ll make it worth your while everytime you visit my blog.

See you again soon!

Postscript: 

I would like to extend my gratitude to that lady who inspired me to set this WordPress blog up. Who would’ve thought that from a ‘used to be non-existent entity’, I will find the inspiration to do again what I am most passionate of – writing. Thanks to you, I learned to keep all the things I wanted to say hidden as an understatement… in all honesty, you are always going to be more than what I’ve told you about who you are. 

“Never had anything happened so fast…

took one look and I shattered like glass

…and I never wanted anything more but to know you”

“Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya: Good afternoon, good evening, and good night!” – Truman Burbank

— Written from my workdesk, using the resources of my workplace – from the electricity to the internet connection, and an average speed computer. Few reasons why I love my job.